blogs

"So, the year was 2015. I became hell-bent on taking my childhood dream of being a musician seriously. So I decided to write an album called, "Odyssey." "I'm Broke" was the first track of that album before I decided to release it as a single. This was a song I intended to write as the first track of my first album. When I started writing it, I didn't have a topic yet. But the goal was to write something great. It felt like a big deal to me. I got really nervous. Then I remembered a story I heard growing up about Guns n' Roses, that they would gather up and get drunk every night in the studio, and by the next day, they would have a great song written on the table. I don't know if it's true or not but my teenage brain took it literally. So, I gulped a whole bottle of cough syrup and kept on writing until I passed out. The next morning, I woke up to this song."

Caution: This endeavor took me into 7 years of self-destruction and depression.

“I grew up asking myself and the people around me, “Why the hell did God create us?” Believing that the world would be a better place if humans didn’t exist. God would be a saner God if the devil didn’t exist. At one point, I started to hate God for creating such an abyss. It’s been a while since I’ve contemplated these existential questions. But yesterday I was faced with these questions again and I realized, how miserable that feeling of uncertainty is. How helpless a person must feel to ask these questions where they are questioning their existence. These questions kept me up all night for years and yesterday, it hit me. Why the hell did God create us? A lot of us think that he created everything to practice his greatness but that analogy expresses utter negligence towards his creations. This contradicts with his supposed nature which is kind and loving. I feel like we question God a lot and barely try to understand who he actually is. How he thinks or what he must feel like. What if he created everything cause he was alone? He really is alone cause he’s the only one of his kind. Nobody can ever truly comprehend his consciousness. Although, God isn’t supposed to feel loneliness or boredom according to religious scriptures but Just think how alone he must be. We say it’s lonely at the top, right? Just think about the void when there was nothing except, God. Everything was just in a state of Devine singularity with unlimited possibilities. Maybe that’s why he started his creation process. The angels, the skies, the binns, the jinns, the humans, everything that we know and don’t know about. One after another or perhaps, simultaneously. Gave life to oblivion. Cherished it. Nurtured it, with everything there is to sustain life. Of course, with expansion, comes complications. With complications, might come abominations. But it doesn’t justify the whole expanding creation, nor the creator himself to be intrinsically good or bad. If we just look at the whole pattern of creation and life, keeping our personal frustrations away, everything is just fascinating. And the one who created this beautifully simulating labyrinth called life must be magnificent.”